I never thought this would happen, not in a million years. I never thought this would happen because I chose to pretend that my marriage was better than it was.
Everyone I knew, my whole family, saw how bad Nick was as a husband. He didn't like my family, he didn't treat me as an equal. He never confided in me and often stayed away in order to avoid me.
How's THAT for rejection?
So, on Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008, my bubble was burst. In hindsight, it wasn't really a big surprise. I saw my world crumbling around me, but tried so hard to remain hopeful that something would suddenly change.
I had just gotten out of the shower and heard the doorbell. I threw on Nick's robe and ran to answer the door. When I opened the door, there was a strange man who served me with divorce papers.
Divorce papers.
It hasn't even been a year since Kasey was taken from us. How could Nick even think about doing that? What made him decide to kill our marriage? Why NOW?
I am still waiting for my disability to be approved. I have zero income, zero savings. Nick has not allowed me to be on his bank account for years. As of this minute, he won't even give me gas money.
He says evil, cruel, mean things to me. Garrett and Kamrin see how Nick treats me and I think that knowing that they could learn from Nick breaks my heart. I don't want them to think that it is okay to treat ANYONE that way.
I'm devastated, sad, and broken. I've gone through too much too soon. Garrett and Kamrin both have had really bad times this past year and this is the last thing they need. Nick refuses marital counseling, and he doesn't even want to discuss anything emotional. He won't even try to keep Garrett's parents together. In my opinion, the fact that he refuses to even try shows me how selfish he is.
I think right now that his heart is cold and black. He treated me badly before Kasey passed away, but in the past two months, since he moved Garrett and I up here to TN, he's become a monster.
It is not fair. Many people make poor choices in their lives and have to live with the results. I have made great decisions in my life. I am a good person and do my best to treat others the way I want them to treat me. None of the problems I am having now have anything to do with the path I have chosen in life.
I did not choose to get MS.
I did not choose to lose my beautiful, sweet, crazy baby girl.
I did not choose to have my son see his broken sister lay dead across his lap.
I did not mistreat my husband, I tried my best to make him happy. I never even dreamed of cheating on him. I truly loved him and have never wanted to look at another man since I met him. I gave up my job, my home, and everything I'd ever known just to be with him.
Nick told me he doesn't love me. He said I disgust him. He said he can't stand the sound of my voice. He has repeatedly told me to leave.
All he wanted to do was move us up here so that he could divorce me and get custody of Garrett.
He denies this, says that he never intended for this to happen. How can I believe him, though? Nothing that he says anymore is believable and he's hurt me so deeply that I just can't forgive him.
Now he has to live with the choices he has made.
He chose to crush my heart, a heart that is already broken from losing our sweet Kasey.
He chose to deny marriage counseling.
He chose to break up Garrett and Kamrin's stable home.
Someday I will look back on our marriage and wonder why I ever stayed with him for so long. I might even wonder why I married him at all.
I will never stop loving him, but now it is time for me to love myself enough to let go and do what I need to do to survive. I have lived through much worse than this, and I will come out of this stronger and wiser. I will make sure that Garrett and Kamrin know that they are loved, safe, and stable.
My family is my strength now and I am forever grateful. I'm so devastated and weak, but my family and friends are rallying around me and will help me get back on my feet emotionally.
Someday someone will appreciate what a great person I am and will love me unconditionally. Until then, Kelly has to stay strong and take care of herself and let others help.
I love my friends and family and there are no words to express how grateful I am to know they are in my corner.
I think I have run out of things to say right now, but I have so much more to add later.
Everyone I knew, my whole family, saw how bad Nick was as a husband. He didn't like my family, he didn't treat me as an equal. He never confided in me and often stayed away in order to avoid me.
How's THAT for rejection?
So, on Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008, my bubble was burst. In hindsight, it wasn't really a big surprise. I saw my world crumbling around me, but tried so hard to remain hopeful that something would suddenly change.
I had just gotten out of the shower and heard the doorbell. I threw on Nick's robe and ran to answer the door. When I opened the door, there was a strange man who served me with divorce papers.
Divorce papers.
It hasn't even been a year since Kasey was taken from us. How could Nick even think about doing that? What made him decide to kill our marriage? Why NOW?
I am still waiting for my disability to be approved. I have zero income, zero savings. Nick has not allowed me to be on his bank account for years. As of this minute, he won't even give me gas money.
He says evil, cruel, mean things to me. Garrett and Kamrin see how Nick treats me and I think that knowing that they could learn from Nick breaks my heart. I don't want them to think that it is okay to treat ANYONE that way.
I'm devastated, sad, and broken. I've gone through too much too soon. Garrett and Kamrin both have had really bad times this past year and this is the last thing they need. Nick refuses marital counseling, and he doesn't even want to discuss anything emotional. He won't even try to keep Garrett's parents together. In my opinion, the fact that he refuses to even try shows me how selfish he is.
I think right now that his heart is cold and black. He treated me badly before Kasey passed away, but in the past two months, since he moved Garrett and I up here to TN, he's become a monster.
It is not fair. Many people make poor choices in their lives and have to live with the results. I have made great decisions in my life. I am a good person and do my best to treat others the way I want them to treat me. None of the problems I am having now have anything to do with the path I have chosen in life.
I did not choose to get MS.
I did not choose to lose my beautiful, sweet, crazy baby girl.
I did not choose to have my son see his broken sister lay dead across his lap.
I did not mistreat my husband, I tried my best to make him happy. I never even dreamed of cheating on him. I truly loved him and have never wanted to look at another man since I met him. I gave up my job, my home, and everything I'd ever known just to be with him.
Nick told me he doesn't love me. He said I disgust him. He said he can't stand the sound of my voice. He has repeatedly told me to leave.
All he wanted to do was move us up here so that he could divorce me and get custody of Garrett.
He denies this, says that he never intended for this to happen. How can I believe him, though? Nothing that he says anymore is believable and he's hurt me so deeply that I just can't forgive him.
Now he has to live with the choices he has made.
He chose to crush my heart, a heart that is already broken from losing our sweet Kasey.
He chose to deny marriage counseling.
He chose to break up Garrett and Kamrin's stable home.
Someday I will look back on our marriage and wonder why I ever stayed with him for so long. I might even wonder why I married him at all.
I will never stop loving him, but now it is time for me to love myself enough to let go and do what I need to do to survive. I have lived through much worse than this, and I will come out of this stronger and wiser. I will make sure that Garrett and Kamrin know that they are loved, safe, and stable.
My family is my strength now and I am forever grateful. I'm so devastated and weak, but my family and friends are rallying around me and will help me get back on my feet emotionally.
Someday someone will appreciate what a great person I am and will love me unconditionally. Until then, Kelly has to stay strong and take care of herself and let others help.
I love my friends and family and there are no words to express how grateful I am to know they are in my corner.
I think I have run out of things to say right now, but I have so much more to add later.
