Sh!+ I'm N O T Thankful For

In this season, we're all thankful for many things, as we should be. We should all have an attitude of gratitude. Life is precious and we shouldn't take our blessings for granted. 

That said, each one of us have things we cannot stand. Something that sucks all the red off our lollipops. 

So, here is my list of sh!+ that I'm NOT thankful for. Things that just need to disappear or get the heck out of my life, all in no particular order.

1. That oak tree that keeps trying to grow up under my crepe myrtle tree. I cut it and cut it, yet it still comes back. It's like cutting it makes it stronger.

2. Bats in the cave. Always check your nose before you go out in public. Nobody wants to see that stuff.

3. Comb-overs. 

4. Calories.

5. Limp handshakes. Especially from dudes. Shake it like you mean it!

6. When people put apostrophes when there shouldn't be. I just tried to do one on purpose and could not stand it. 

7. Those four-holed Hush Puppies shoes. My old art teacher used to wear them and those shoes made me angry.

8. Alarm clocks. 

9. Close talkers. Back up, I can hear you from three feet away, I promise. 

10. Emus. They just look evil.

11. Muffin tops. Lord knows I hate mine, although it is more of a loaf top. See #4.

12. Pull up your pants!!!

13. The fact that as nasty as they are, there is no coating on Prednisone pills. Why?

14. Bell peppers. Blech!

15. The fact that the skin on my elbows is dark. I do not know why. It just is.

16. Fire ants. I once poked a hole in a fire ant mound, put dryer lint in the hole, and set it on fire. Now, that's entertainment.

17. These things:

18. "Your card has been declined."

19. Cancer.

20. Bad parenting. It runs the spectrum. I was going to start naming examples, but it makes me angry. If you don't want your kid(s), then give them to someone who does. Or, better yet, use birth control. No child should be mistreated, taken for granted, or made to eat bell peppers.

21. Onions.

22. People who can't take a joke. 

23. Having an itch in that one spot in the middle of your back that you can't reach.

24. How fast the stupid battery on my stupid phone dies.

25. Bills. 

26. People who do drugs, especially the people who brag about it. 

27. When Pinterest recipes don't turn out the way the pin describes. Like that cornbread recipe.

28. Getting caught doing something stupid. You know that person is going to remind you daily and tell everyone.

29. Every time I get a new shirt that I really like, I get a stain on it before the second washing. 

30. When I make dinner and nobody thanks me. I did work, ya know. Be thankful it's not Totino's.

Okay, done.

The cool thing about this list is the fact that it was MUCH harder coming up with things I'm not thankful for. The things I appreciate and enjoy every day come to mind way easier. 

So, tell me... what are you not thankful for?

Sh!+ I'm Thankful For

As I'm sure we are all way too aware of, we're supposed to post a Facebook status every day of something we're thankful for.

This month has had a rough spot or two, so I've fallen off that bandwagon.

Sure, there are things to be thankful for every single day, but I was too busy pouting or being ticked off to post some happy crap for the world to see. Screw that.

So, to get it all over with at once, I've compiled a list of things I'm thankful for. They are listed in no particular order. Here goes:

1. My mouth. Food goes in it and I can speak my mind with it. I can make boo-boos all better with a kiss and, seriously, where the heck else would I put red lipstick?

2. DVR. I'm too forgetful to remember to watch certain shows at certain times. Plus, I can watch the soaps uninterrupted while everyone else is at work/school.

3. My divorce. If I hadn't gotten a divorce, as unpleasant as it was, I would never have been able to marry John. Marriage is amazing as long as it is to the right person, and I've finally found him.

4. Fall leaves. Who doesn't like fall, and the wonderful weather? The leaves are beautiful! 

5. My kids. One in Heaven, one here. Both are amazing examples of how I can pass on both good and bad things... mostly good, of course! lol On a serious note, though, NEVER, EVER take your kids for granted. They are blessings, planned or not.

6. My stepkids. I hit the lottery on this one. I've heard horror stories of evil stepchildren. The ones I've been blessed with are really awesome kids. I'm so glad I didn't get ones that are evil, stink, or are just generally bad.

7. The filling in Oreos.

8. Sweet tea. The bane of my existence, so bad for me in all it's deliciosity.

9. The roof over my head. Too many people take that for granted. Sure, I don't live in a mansion or in a cookie cutter community, but this is the home I grew up in and its solid and full of love.

10. High thread count sheets. Its like sleepin' in butta.

11. My parents. So many people take their parents for granted, especially teenagers. I did when I was younger. I got really good parents, though. My mom is the funniest, sweetest lady. My dad was like a superhero to me (race car driver and always could fix stuff, excellent judge of character.) 

12. All the chores my stepmom made me do. Seriously. I resented doing them, but it made me a better, more responsible person. 

13. Technology. I love technology. Computers, social media, smartphones, my Keurig coffeemaker. 

14. Rain. I love the rain. 

15. Full House reruns. It makes me so happy that my kids actually like watching that old show, since it doesn't have bad innuendo or embarrassing subjects (like Two and a Half Men).

16. Pumpkin pie.

17. King Vitamin cereal. That stuff ain't no joke. The best cereal ever.

18. Ponytail holders. Otherwise, my hair would be getting on my nerves all the time.

19. My friends. And they are better than YOUR friends.

20. Baby/toddler giggles. I can't think of a sweeter sound.

21. My nieces and nephews. I'm probably the proudest Auntie ever in the history of Auntie-dom. From the oldest to the youngest, they are seriously awesome.

22. My siblings. They have my blood running through them, so of course they're the best. lol The step-siblings are pretty dang cool, too.

23. Karma. Enough said.

24. The sweet ass car I get to drive. Frickin' sweet. 

25. The fact that my husband finds me sexy even though I'm old and fat. 

26. My MADD friends, the Charleston County Victims Advocate, and Amy from the Impact of Crime classes. All the people who share my passion for making the world a better place, and for giving me a way to do so.

27. Thanksgiving dinner. p.s. I make the best collards next to my first stepdad. 

28. Electricity. Except the bill.

29. Medication. Keeps me alive/doing fairly well, and helps me suffer through an airplane ride.

30. Hugs. I frickin' love hugs. 

Okay, so there you have it. I'm thankful for big things and minor things. I'm grateful to be alive and to have things that make me grateful. 

What are YOU thankful for?