Then, I was demoted.
I don't quite fit in where I used to. I have lots of sage advice for the mom who is having a second child, but I hold back because that would mean I'd have to bring up Kasey. When I bring her up, I instantly receive pity.
Sometimes, I *do* want pity. I need the hug. Other times, though, I want to feel normal again. I want to pretend that nothing happened so I can escape reality.
It is much harder to relate to people now. People don't know what to say, or are too afraid to say the wrong thing.
I want her back. I want my son to have a sister to fight with and tattletale on. I want my husband to be happy again. I want to be happy again.
Every now and then, please treat me like I was before the demotion. The demolition. The demon.
Every once in a while, call to check on me. Tell me a joke, because I need the smile. Tell me how you feel about what happened. Talk to me without worrying how I'll react. If what you say isn't welcome, don't worry. I'm unafraid to tell you to stop talking. I'm just afraid you won't talk.
9 comments:
I am sorry that you are having a hard time relating to people now. I know what you mean by people clammig up because they are afraid to say the wrong thing or just dont know what to say at all. I am sure I have been guilty of that myself. I think you and I had a pretty good visit when I came over. We visited for 2 and a half hours and I don't remember any uncomfortable silences. I enjoyed your company. Let's make a better effort to stay in touch and I will try to be the right kind of listener....or talker...which ever the occasion calls for. How does that sound?
A street performer was taken to the hospital with burns on his face.
Using only gestures, he explained to the Doctor that someone in the
crowd was unhappy with his act and attacked him with pepper spray,
which apparently reacted with his white face paint and caused the
burns. The Doctor shook his head and said, "A Mime is a terrible
thing to mace."
Patient: "I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
Doctor: "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
Patient: "Is it common?"
Doctor: "Well, It's Not Unusual."
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan."
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
Those are the only ones I've seen recently. If I find some more, I'll be sure to share them :D
Christina
Ok, I need you to do something for me, Ready???
Put your arms around yourself, I know feeling silly but stick with me, ok now squeeze!!!
That is a hug from me. And you can repeat as many times as you want I am sending you a lifetime supply!! I love you!!
I love you Kelly.
I know I am one of those guilt people afraid to say the wrong thing. I remember before you guys left VA to head to PA. How the last day I saw you she was just alittle baby with pebble hairdo. Then when you guys moved to SC and came to Jules's Dora party. How much she had grown. Made me realize how time flew and how we need to get together more often. Now I feel bad for I always wanted to get the kids together and we never did. So it stops here. Anytime you want to get out of the house for drink or let Garrett play a park give me a ring. You know I love to find an excuse to void cleaning. LOL
I am here to talk and listen! {{{Kelly}}} Oh, and of course web cam chat, lol.
Oh Kelly :( , I know I am one of those people that is afraid of saying the wrong thing, only because I want to say everything right :( . I love you!!! {{{{{Kelly}}}}}
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to get a driver's license. The
examiner tests his eyesight by asking him to read a chart on the back
wall: C Z J W I X N O S T I A C Z "Can you read it?" the examiner
asked. "Read it? Hell, I know him!"
OK lets get this straight, NO you have not been demoted. You are a mother of two and you will always be a mother of two! Lets look at this way, you're such a good mom that the lord just couldn't find anyone else better than Kasey to complete the job he has in store for her. I promise things do get easier with time. I can't believe that its been 14 years since my baby was taken from me, hell I can't believe that I would have a 15 yr old and a 13 yr old this year. What in the hell was I thinkin...OK don't answer that, we all know what I was thinkin! :) Anywho back to being demoted, you could never be demoted!! Once a Mom always a mom. I think that when things happen to our children we automatically take blame and think its our fault because we did something wrong. But thats not the case. I firmly believe that our whole lives are planned out for us before we are even thought of and sometimes these things are just part of the plan. It doesn't change that fact that you are a mother of two children. It didn't change the fact that I am the mother of two children. Its just part of that plan. Just like the poem says, I believe our children are just lent to us for our enjoyment and for us to take care of until he is ready for them. As heartbreaking as it is, it's in "the plan of life". Keep your head up girl, you're a great mom. You did nothing wrong. Call me if you need me. I can't wait till we get together for lunch or sumin'. I think we should go see that movie Over my dead body! Have you seen the previews? Call Me! Priscilla
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